Just thinkin

I think I said in my e-mail to the folks at work, I am in desperate need of some downtime with a book, and thus began our trip to West Palm Beach Florida.

On the way we stopped at the family reunion in Tennessee. I always enjoy getting to spend time with that part of my family. As with any family it amazes me that we can turn out so different. I like that about us, different perspectives, views, beliefs, I find it refreshing, I believe it adds depth to the whole group.

As we left I went to say bye to Grand-pa, I was not prepared for what happened next, the conversation was so open I could not help myself from asking some questions that I wanted to hear his thoughts on, like, "How do you want to be remembered" his answer, "as an honest man" One thing he said that stuck me odd, "I now count my life in hours, days or months, I have no future..." That thought has stuck with me, No future.....
I did not know how to respond to that. Is it true that we reach a place of no future?
I think it is natural to react to those words, I began to think, what about Heaven? Seeing Grandma? But I think I understood what he was saying, he has reached the place that he can see the end of life.

As the father of this tribe he can only go so far, as a father you built and launched this ship and there comes a time when it sails without you, yet never without your influence. It is true of grandpa and it is true of us all. This family moves and lives on, our future gets brighter with each new birth. Each generation bears a responsibility to make sure that the one behind is grounded, better equipped, better prepared, and better educated with better tools.

I don’t know if grandpa can really see the impact of his life, for that matter I don’t know if any of can really see the impact of our own lives. I believe we all have a fear that somehow we missed it. That seems to be the greatest secret of life there is, we chase what we already have. We are looking for something we already possess; yet never relax enough to see it much less believe it about our life. For all the things we mess up and miss there are some things we get right.

Today I read the following;
“Most of us lead far more meaningful lives that we know. Often finding meaning is not about doing things differently; it is about seeing unfamiliar things in new ways. When we find new eyes, the unsuspected blessing in work we have done for many years may take us completely by surprise. We can see life in many ways; with the eye, with the mind, with the intuition. But perhaps it is only by those who speak the language of meaning, who have remembered how to see with the heart, that life is ever deeply known or served”

I took a cue from a recent teacher and chose to ask myself three questions at the end of the day.
What surprised me today?
What moved or touched me today?
What inspired me today?

By choosing to be fully awake may you see today what you already have.
GT