Church football talk

For those Superbowl fans.

Here is some football-speak theology that appeared in ‘Religious Broadcasting’ magazine:

Backfield-in-Motion - Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the service.
Bench warmer - Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit.
Blitz - The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.
Blocking - Standing inside the church door complaining to the pastor about the sermon.
Extra point - What you receive when you tell the preacher the sermon was too short.
Flex Defense - The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.
Fumble - A lousy sermon.
Halftime - The period between Sunday school and worship when many choose to leave.
Illegal motion - Leaving before the benediction
Instant Replay - The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week’s illustrations.
Quarterback sneak - Sunday school teachers entering the church building five minutes after Sunday school begins.
Quarterback Sneak - Worshipper quietly gets up during the invitation and sneaks out of church ahead of everybody.
Not to be confused with End Run - Getting out of church quickly, without speaking to any guest or fellow member.
Staying in the Pocket - What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord’s work.
Sudden Death - What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes "overtime."
Trap - You’re called on to pray and are asleep.
Two-minute Warning - The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.